Disclaimer: This article is mostly anecdotal; no academic sources are cited. 

I remember being a budding teenager, learning more about who I am. I was questioning my sexuality— all I knew was that I wasn’t straight. Like most questioning teens, I went to the internet for help. That’s when I discovered the online LGBT community, a community that prides itself in accepting everyone, no matter who they are. As someone who came from a homophobic and unsupportive household, it was a safe haven for me. I followed many LGBT themed accounts and learnt about the different sexualities and gender identities. At the time, I accepted most of them, even if I didn’t understand them at all— I just thought it was the right thing to do.

For all of my teenage years, I supported trans people— I believed that trans women are women, trans men are men, and non-binary people are valid. I believed that Marsha P. Johnson and other trans women were the reason gay people had rights (because gay men and lesbians just sat on their arses apparently). I also believed that not wanting to date a trans person was transphobic. As you can see, I was deep into gender ideology. Parroting slogans and mantras without a second thought. Without question. As a teen who wanted to be heard and understood, the last thing I wanted to do was invalidate someone’s identity. 

So how did someone who was vehemently pro-trans change her mind? Well, it started when I finally realised I was a lesbian at age 20. I realised that I’m not attracted to male bodies whatsoever; I only desire women. It was also around this time that I got into radical feminism; mainstream feminism was too surface-level and male-pandering for my liking. A core part of radical feminism is being gender-critical, the oh-so-controversial belief that sex is immutable and a material reality and gender identity is inane and regressive. I used to think that “TERFs” or “trans exclusionary radical feminists” were evil people who wanted to erase trans people from society. That’s what trans activists wanted me to believe. At the time, it made sense. I saw news articles of trans people (particularly TIMs) being murdered, being banned from playing sports, and being barred from getting “gender-affirming” care. It looked like “TERFs” just hated trans people. But in the past couple of years, I’ve realised that “TERFs” are not the villains I’m supposed to hate and oppose. 

It took a lot of introspection, observation, and listening to other lesbians, radical feminists, and women in general to recognise that the trans movement is very misogynistic, regressive, and homophobic. I can’t exactly pinpoint the straw that broke the camel’s back, but here are the reasons why I’ve distanced myself from the trans community.

Gender Stereotypes and Misogyny

The trans movement heavily relies on gender stereotypes, even though they claim to rebel against the gender binary. If you Google “signs you might be trans/non-binary”, they likely mention things about not getting along or relating to other boys or girls—like not being into dolls or playing rough. Or that you don’t feel comfortable in your body— implying that the body that you’re in is “wrong”. A lot of these articles and videos fail to mention society’s immuring expectations for men and particularly women. It’s more focused on the individual, even though most choices and ideas don’t exist in a vacuum, especially since humans are a social species. So they provide an easy solution— if you don’t subscribe to your “assigned” gender role, you must be trans. 

The trans movement seems to confuse “gender” with personality, habits, and aesthetics. Which is why a lot of them seem to believe that there are many “genders”. They also encourage young people to go on hormones and demand surgeries with little to no question. They shun de-transitioners for speaking up about their experience, like how religious fundamentalists treat apostates. 

Additionally, the trans movement also puts trans-identified males or “trans women” on pedestals. They are seen as the “glue” of the LGBT community, and they can do no wrong. Some of them believe that they are better than “cis” women, and that “trans women” are the blueprint for womanhood. Any criticism about any of them is seen as violence and an attack on some of the most vulnerable people in society. Many TIMs (at least in online spaces) believe that they are more oppressed than biological women. They believe they face something called “transmisogyny”, and because of this, they believe they are entitled to female-exclusive spaces. Any woman who expresses discomfort with sharing a space with a male is called a “TERF” (even if they’re not a radical feminist in the slightest) and a “bigot.” She should just shut up and get over it.

 

Trans activists typically disregard the material reality of biological sex— self-identification takes priority. Many of them don’t believe that women are oppressed because of their sex, but because of their gender expression instead. But what gender does a female baby express before her genitals are mutilated for the sake of “purity?” 

In the UK, before 1975, a woman could not open a bank account without the signature of her father or husband. A “trans woman” could. It doesn’t take much to figure out why.   

Homophobia

There is a common sentiment in the trans movement that genitalia is irrelevant regarding sexuality. Which basically means that a gay man can like vaginas and a lesbian can like penises. As a lesbian myself, I do not like penis nor am I attracted to male bodies in general. According to trans activists, my sexuality is bigoted and closed-minded, and I deserve to die alone.

I remember first learning about the “cotton ceiling” and being horrified. For those who don’t know, it is basically TIMs believing that they are entitled to women’s bodies for sexual pleasure. Lesbians who refuse to date/have sex with TIMs are just not open-minded and should consider trans women’s feelings and unlearn their “genital preference.” As you can see, they don’t sound very different to an average male incel and homophobe. 

“Try dick, you might like it.” 

It is modern-day conversion therapy.

To trans activists, dating and having sex with a trans person is a sign of high morality; those who don’t (specifically homosexuals) are transphobic and insular. 

I think this belief comes from a need for external validation; they want their gender identity to be affirmed by the people they want to date. But if your “identity” heavily relies on how other people see you, you might want to reflect on whether your identity is based in reality. 

Historical revisionism

As mentioned earlier, online queer communities like to propagate the false idea that if it weren’t for “trans women,” gay people would not have rights today. They mention Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera as the pioneers of Pride. There are many things wrong with this sentiment. For starters, it is very US-centric— many countries have their own gay history and activists. And contrary to popular belief, lesbians and gay men have always been at the forefront of the gay rights movement. Sadly, homosexuality is still illegal in several countries. How come Marsha’s supposed activism didn’t reach those places?

Also, regarding Marsha, many sources say that he wasn’t initially present during the Stonewall Riot. He arrived later, and he did not throw any bricks or stones at police officers. Some people say it was Stormé DeLarverie, a butch lesbian, who started the riot. If trans activists have to lie and change history to make themselves look good, you have to question the legitimacy and ulterior motives of the movement. 

Some trans activists even go as far as wrongly assuming historical figures are trans. Such as Joan of Arc and Hatshepsut, completely ignoring the historical and societal contexts of the time. According to their logic, if a woman is gender non-conforming or disguises herself as a man for safety, she has to be trans in some way. This way of thinking erases female history, which is already so minuscule thanks to patriarchy.

Conclusion

Now, does me not supporting the trans movement mean that I hate trans people? Absolutely not. I acknowledge that TIMs face violence from men, and that’s bad, but that is not a feminist issue. I believe that trans-identified people need access to good psychiatric and psychological care, they may benefit from neutral toilets, and open/inclusive sport categories that do not infringe on the right to single-sex sports for women. I hope more people will come to realise the regressive nature of the trans movement/gender ideology, and fight for a more progressive and healthier cause.